One-Liners Abound in Political Satire Debate
Students were treated to a “Freaky Friday” moment Monday night in the Marvin Center Amphitheater when the Political Satire LLC hosted a laugh-a-minute mock debate.Brand Kroeger ’09, chairman of the College Republicans, and Cory Struble ’09, president of the College Democrats, squared off in an uproarious debate where they posed as a member of the opposing political party much to the amusement of attendees, who largely were members of each student org.Michael Komo ’11, president of the LLC, posed as Anderson “Silver Fox” Cooper, and Jen Goldstein ’11, an LLC member, was Campbell “No Bias, No Bullshit” Brown. The pair moderated the speedy debate.The Political Satire LLC is a living and learning cohort residing in Guthridge Hall, and began last year as an LLC in Thurston Hall. Goldstein said the group meets once a week to watch programs like “The Daily Show” and “The Colbert Report,” but they also hold one or two events a month (sometimes a charitable event).Kroeger, as a Democrat, entered draped in a LGBTQ rainbow flag, wearing aviators with a bright green suit, a bright pink shirt, and Uggs. With a flamboyant attitude and exuberant responses, Kroeger kept the audience in stitches with his sexually explicit puns and egging on his opponent.Struble, as a Republican, entered accompanied by his “pro-life, trophy wife” Cindy, played by CD Membership Director Jessi Gordon ’11. With a tweed coat and waving an American flag, he spoke in a southern-esque accent, and brought along several props including an actual trophy for his wife, who he demanded was not allowed to speak.Throughout the Lightning Round of fast answers, the Crossfire section where Kroeger and Struble could question each other, and the Q&A with the audience, the laughs were nonstop, as punch lines were continuously met with raucous laughter.Below are some of the more notable remarks from each individual. As Komo reminded those gathered at the beginning of the event, all comments were made in jest as the two are actually good friends, so the audience was asked to not “get offended, and leave with a smile.”“Democrat” Kroeger said:· his favorite senator was Sen. Ted Kennedy (D-Mass.) because his “moonlight drives around the vineyard are to die for.”· his favorite state was Florida because it’s the “you-know-what of America.”· former Vice-President Dick Cheney actually was not a bad guy because “Dick shot a guy in the face…that’s pretty badass.”· Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was his “second favorite lesbian.”· President Barack Obama’s first 100 days have been successful because Sasha and Malia’s swing set was slipped into the stimulus bill, and Michelle planted a new garden.· the government has to stand up for polar bears and unicorn ponies before former vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin hunts them too.· Struble was racist even against penguins, and they are black and white.“Republican” Struble said:· his favorite senator was former Sen. Larry Craig (R-ID) because he had a “wide stance on the issues.”· his ideal evening would include a “hot night of abstinence” with his trophy wife.· Ronald Reagan was his “ideological savior.”· his most-hated country was Massachusetts because it’s the only place where “same-sex marriage is mandatory,” but hunting is illegal.· even fetuses have a right to bear arms because “life begins at conception.”· every child under 5 years old, including fetuses, should be given an Uzi gun.· he was against DC voting rights because they are between a man and a woman. If DC earns voting rights then the government will have to let animals vote, then the animals will want to adopt too.· his foreign policy objective was to “invade more countries and make some theme parks.”The comedic pair even had each other cracking up during a night when questions like “What would you do for a Klondike bar?” received over-the-top responses.Goldstein said she was happy with the success of the event, and was able to pull off a “school-wide event” rather than just for the LLC. She added that the Political Satire LLC plans to make the debate an annual event.
